this is the part where i tell you my whole life storyyy :3

yep, that's me... i bet you're wondering how i got in this situation. it all started when i was born as a baby, that really shaped the trajectory of my life. you see, if i had been born an adult things would have been much different. such as, i would have been an adult.

i bet you're wondering how this story ends huh? me too...

first, i'm assuming you've done your prep work and already made the following from scratch, so simply mix them in a fluid receptical for later

• 3 Tbsp of soy sauce
• a generous splash of white vinegar
• 1 elegant tsp of siracha
• several stylish dashes of sesame oil
• a few large fish sauce

you should have anticipated this meal nine months in advance. obviously no two situations are the same, but i will give you a rough timeline of events:

• nine months ago: you should plant your garlic
• six months ago: add bell peppers and onions to your garden
• one motnh ago: start growing your mushroom colony

cut your bell peppers and onions into strips and slice the mushrooms, then add olive oil and brown your garlic until fragrent. ¹ stir fry the peppers and onions for about two (2) minutes before adding mushrooms. sear for ~30s and pour in the liquid from your receptical. let the fluid bubble and caramelize, and plate the dish whenever your heart desires.

_{1. you should also own an olive orchard by now obviously. i won't go into the detail, as everyone knows how to manage an orchard, collect and defoliate the fruit, press, knead, and extract oil from olives. honestly this subject barely deserves a footnote 🙄}